


Office days

by Goldentigerlily



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: BAU antics, Between cases, Fluff, Gap Filler, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Prank Wars, Team as Family, paperwork days, team being real people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:29:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25642828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goldentigerlily/pseuds/Goldentigerlily
Summary: In the Criminal Minds universe, we see what happens pertaining to cases and angst and drama. But what about the rest of the time in between cases? The days where they aren't flying across the country trying to catch serial criminals? The starts of prank wars, coffee talks, and weekend outings? Mostly collections of one shots, but all in the same universe and timelines. No slash or romantic pairings
Comments: 2
Kudos: 107





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I've had this idea for a while, and deciding to finally commit and write it. Any suggestions or anything you'd like to see can be suggested in comments or on my tumblr, @bau-babes! Enjoy!  
> P.S, Criminal minds doesn't belong to me. Things would be a lot cooler if I did

It had started out innocently enough.

When he couldn’t find his stapler, Derek simply thought he had misplaced it.

When his chair was slightly higher than normal, Spencer just presumed the cleaners had just bumped into it and raised it by accident.

Then it escalated.

When Spencer Reid walked into work that morning, things had been going as usual. Penelope greeted him on her way into her office, JJ waved with her unoccupied arm while she went to review some new cases and requests. The first thing that was odd, was the presence of Derek. 

Spencer was always early, usually making it in before half of his team. Today, almost everyone was here before he was. He wasn’t late or off time, he had been at his desk 18 minutes and 37 seconds earlier than 9:00am he noted, checking his watch. But he assumed that maybe everyone just wanted to be done with their paperwork and leave early. It was a Wednesday, afterall. So he went to go get his usual morning saving coffee, and added a great heap of sugar in the bitter coffee to try and salvage his taste buds. He stirred his mug, and sat at his desk. He grabbed the first file in the pile, and started the report.

After a few minutes of writing, he took his first sip of coffee. And immediately spat out the bitter liquid.

He heard snickering from across the bullpen and looked over to see who witnessed his reaction to his unusual coffee. It, of course, was Morgan. He had his head leaned against his arm, using the unoccupied one to wipe imaginary tears from his eyes. Reid shook his head at this expected reaction and started cleaning his workspace.

Once there was no more of a mess, Spencer went to go see what went wrong. Had he been too tired to notice he grabbed the wrong shaker? He grabbed the container from where he had left it, shook some of it on to his hand, and tentatively licked it. He immediately recoiled, and washed his hand. It wasn’t him grabbing the wrong container, he thought to himself. It took him a moment to think what went wrong, when it hit him like a truck.

“You were the one to put salt in the sugar container for the coffee!” Spencer accused, pointing his long finger at Derek. “That’s why you’re in approximately thirteen minutes and twenty-two seconds earlier than normal!”

He angrily made his way to Morgan’s desk, who’s occupant was trying as hard as possible to stifle his laughter. “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about pretty boy! I simply wanted to get a headstart on todays paperwork.” His lip quivered as he very obviously lied, attempting to keep in his giggles, and his smirk wasn’t faltering. Spencer huffed, and on that day he vowed to get his revenge.  
~.~.~.~.~.~.  
Derek Morgan had never seen it coming.

He knew Spencer would snapback. After all, he messed with his coffee and his trust. For the week following the salt prank, he made sure to check that the sugar had really been sugar. So he knew that the Cal-tech graduate would have something up his very long sleeves. 

But what Derek Morgan did not know, is how much work his colleague put into his pranks.

So that morning, when he came into the office and everything was still as per usual, he thought nothing of the desk chair being a tad bit higher than normal. He sat on his comfortable chair and went to grab a file when a loud air horn made him jump from his seat. He looked around at his team to find they all had their eyebrows raised and attention drawn. All except the smug looking Dr. Reid. 

Derek shook his head and spoke to Spencer from his cubicle. “Nice try, kid. You’re going to need a lot more than that to beat me.” He taunted, pulling the air horn and duct tape off of the bottom of his chair. Everyone else resumed their work, except Spencer who seemed to visibly relax further.

Unbeknownst to Derek, Spencer’s plan was simply being set into motion. So when Derek went to sit back in his office chair and fell backwards as the chair’s back broke, he knew he was all set and had nothing further to worry about.

Derek fumbled and stood up as abruptly as possible without looking like even more of an idiot. He listened to his coworkers all laugh and the trick, and JJ eventually went to his rescue. “I can get you a new chair,” JJ snickered, “they’re in the basement. None of which have been tampered with.”.

Derek mumbled a thank you before he regained his confidence and charm. He looked over to Reid who cocked a brow and had a wide smile. He bit his lip and warned, “Look over your shoulder from now on Pretty Ricky. I’m coming when you least expect it.”.

Spencer mumbled a “Sure you will.” and went back to his paperwork with a still prominent half smile. Derek took it as flaunting his victory, but only Reid knew what else was in store for Morgan. He came in about 43 minutes early today, and worked on Derek's full desk. So when Derek went to use a pen and it exploded on him, he thought it had been a faulty pen. He threw out the pen and form, and retrieved two new ones. Then the cartridge split in two and he knew something had to be wrong. At this point Reid, being the efficient worker he is, had already taken his eyes off of Morgan and went back to his paperwork. He sighed, threw out that pen, and tried again.  
That day, Derek had run into problems with 7 of his pens, 2 shelves, 4 paper cups, and both of his staplers. He had to give the kid credit, it was a good prank. But he would get him back in due time. And as Spencer said, they would probably be at it for the next 500 years. But Derek had the most excellent idea as payback, and left for home where he could plot it to perfection.


	2. Introduction Ceremony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whenever a new agent comes to the BAU, there is a certain tradition they must uphold. When Alex Blake comes to the BAU, it's no different.

“To welcome Alex Blake into the BAU, we must continue with our tradition!” Penelope pleaded to Hotch, who was sitting at his desk and gathering up some paperwork into a briefcase. He glanced out his window into the bullpen, where the rest of the team was waiting impatiently for an answer. It was just the main team, the rest of the workers had already left for the night. 

Hotch sighed, thinking intently. “What about everyone getting back to our families?” He asked, concerned for the plans everyone else may have. He knew Jessica had Jack with her on their trip to the family out of state, but JJ had Henry to worry about and everyone else may have had other matters and plans.

Penelope rolled her eyes, “We already had everyone clear up their schedules. Come on Hotch! Let us unwind for a while, Boss man!” she begged him. 

He thought for a few moments more before sighing and putting his briefcase on his chair and taking his jacket off. “Alright,” he nodded, “we can play hide and seek. Only on our floor though. We are not repeating what happened with Reid getting locked in counter terrorism until a janitor comes in.”  
~.~.~.~.~.~.  
“One hundred ninety-eight, one hundred ninety-nine, two hundred! Here I come.” Blake called out, even though she doubted anyone heard her. She walked from inside of Hotch’s dark office, and started wandering and looking everywhere on her new floor. 

She first went to check under all of the desks in the bullpen, but that was too easy so she didn’t find anyone. Her next stop was past Strauss’s office and into David's. The couch had been a few feet further out than it had been on her tour last week, so she checked there.

“Ah you got me.” Rossi stood up upon seeing Alex’s face, brushing off his pants. “I didn’t think you would find me this fast. Guess I’m paying for the next round of drinks when we go out.” he shrugged. Alex gave David a small smile, and helped him push back the couch into its original spot. Before Alex went off to find the others, David offered her some scotch which she politely declined. Finding everyone in the dark would be hard enough even without alcohol.

Her next spot was the cleaning supplies closet, where she found Hotch. “It’s the only place I really fit.” he admitted, placing some brooms back into their rightful spots. “Who else have you found?” Hotch asked, following her to the found zone (David's office). 

“Just you and Dave.” Alex declared, glancing at her watch. It had already been 15 minutes, so she had another 45 to find everyone else.

Hotch, once in the office with Rossi and a glass of scotch, gave her some advice. “JJ always hides high up. She and Derek are the only ones who can really climb like that.” Alex thanked him for the advice, and continued to search.

Blake accidentally found Derek. She had to run to the restroom, but tripped over Derek when she made the mistake of entering the men's room. He let out a frustrated groan, and got up. “Alright, I can go to Rossi’s myself.” He commented, watching her walk into the women's room. Once she was done, she peeked to his office long enough to see Derek enter the bright office acting as a jail of sorts. She thought to herself, ‘I’ve got Penelope, JJ, and Spencer left. Look up for JJ.’

So when she stumbled across a tile in the room of the conference room, she knew that’s where JJ would be. Alex unsteadily stood on top of their round table where they often had meetings, and used her phone as a light to look at a curled up JJ, snacking on a bag of cheetos while scrolling through her phone. “Ah, you got me!” she exclaimed through a mouthful of her snacks. Alex helped her out of the ceiling, and made her way into the office with the rest of the team. She glanced back at her watch to see she had 15 minutes left to find Penelope and Reid. ‘Shouldn’t be too hard,’ she thought.

With five minutes left, she found Penelope. Garcia had been smart, and was hiding behind an old closet full of blankets and piles of other things so she blended in the first time Blake had come around. However, on her second sweep, she found a stray bit of hair poking out from under a blanket surrounded by sparkles. When Blake pulled of the blanket, Penelope groaned. “Oh come on Doc! You couldn’t have waited five more minutes?” She complained, standing and stepping out of the closet. Alex laughed, and walked with her back to Rossi’s office to admit her defeat.

As she opened the door for Penelope, her watch went off signaling the hour was over. “I didn’t find Reid.” She admitted, running a hand through her hair. “I looked high and low, twice!” She groaned, taking a seat on the couch. The team laughed, and David put his scotch and glasses back into the drawer. 

“Let’s go look for him. He knows not to go onto other floors, right?” JJ asked, looking around for confirmation but finding tentative looks. “Oh come on!” She exclaimed,walking out of the door. She and the rest of the team looked all over their floor before gathering again. 

“We have to go look on other floors to find him now. Everyone in the elevator, we’ll divide the floors and come back to the lobby once we sweep them all.” Hotch ordered, looking slightly more tense than he had before. They nodded, and made their way to the elevators. Penelope stuck out her hand and pressed the down button.

To their surprise, they weren’t met with an empty elevator. The doors pinged open and on the floor with a cup of Jell-o was Spencer, his legs crossed and mouth red. “Took you all long enough!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2, done! I'll try updating every 2 days for now, just because I've got some good ideas. Anything you want to see next? Comment or ask on my tumblr, @Bau-Babes! Reminder that this isn't beta read so let me know if you see a mistake please.


	3. Movie night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for a movie night at Rossi's house!

“Rossi, we don’t need more popcorn!” Penelope gasped, exasperated at the sheer amount of popcorn that had been popped in the last half an hour while everyone decided on a family safe movie in the movie theatre. All except for Rossi, Hotch, and herself.They were all tasked with preparing enough popcorn for everyone and adding their requested toppings. There were eight adults and two children (though Henry and Jack weren’t considered big enough to have popcorn) so they had to juggle all eight bowls of popcorn and remember everyone's preferences. But with Dave’s new mega theatre style popcorn maker, the time it took to make all the popcorn was minimal.

Even from the theatre, the rest of the BAU and family heard the loud crash and Penelope’s squeal and they cringed. Nothing good ever came from that combination, loud noises and Penelope. “Leave it, they can handle themselves.” Derek commented, checking his phone while they waited for the snacks. “If they need help, they can come get it.”

Downstairs, Penelope had tried grabbing the bowl of melted caramel from the microwave, before dropping it hastily as the tips of her fingers were scalded by the steam in the microwave. The bowl clattered to the floor, and Penelope hissed and went to run her pink fingers under some cold water. Hotch mentally sighed, not angry with Penelope but at the prospect of cleaning up the mess and making another batch of caramel. He got to it though, while Dave inspected Garcia’s fingers. 

Soon enough, the bowls of prepared popcorn were brought up to the awaiting crowd. The smell of popcorn, caramel, chocolate, and white cheddar overwhelmed everyone's noses, but they switched on the movie. As the opening theme started, there were plenty of mixed reactions. Penelope squealed with delight, Spencer cocked his head not knowing what the movie was. Derek groaned, JJ and Emily smiled, and Rossi, along with Hotch, just sat back and prepared themselves for the movie.

As one of the more iconic songs played, the ladies sang along to the words the animated mermaid did. “Wish I could be part of that world!” They sang together, slightly tipsy from the cocktails they influenced Rossi into making just after the beginning of the movie. Jack, Henry, and Will were already asleep, and everyone else was engrossed with watching the women having a great time.

An hour later, everyone but Rossi was asleep, the movie playing the end credits and illuminating the resting faces of everyone in the miniature home theatre. He stood up slowly and moved around the room quietly, retrieving glasses and bowls that littered the floor. He walked down the stairs, his arms full of dirty dishes, and trying not to wake them, his family. He smiled at the thought of them being one big family. They acted like one, had their scheduled movie nights at his mansion, nights out, hell they even had christmas photos taken when they didn’t have a case. They didn’t all have to be blood to be family, and that’s what made them all work so well. They were a found family, not a blood family. And he loved them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3! Sorry this one is so much shorter, I just had a hard time putting my vision into words. Hope you enjoy, and I'll see you next time!


End file.
